so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
