Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
