I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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