you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
