so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
