How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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