Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
