Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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