3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
