Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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