Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
