I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
