so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
try to milk me bitch
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