there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
