I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
