But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
