He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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