East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
