she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
