weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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