so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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