Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Do vagina's smell?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
