drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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