dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize