Please, let me fuck your mom
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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