the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
