That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
