We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
