Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
