Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
