P.S. I can't hear my feet
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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