I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
