Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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