i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize