fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dignity is for republicans.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
