Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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