Don't you send me to vm
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
