I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
