I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
