i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
