I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
