Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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