I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
