youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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