Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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