Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
