my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
