I just made out with a guy for $7.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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