that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
