you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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