so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
