i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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