you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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