She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
